Christmas

Of course I am the first one awake. Like always. Today should be interesting. Kenneth keeps telling me I will remember this Christmas forever. I am running a fever which kinda sucks because I don't feel good. After this blog I am going to make myself some coffee and wait until 9 to wake people up. Is that childish of me? Waking people up, I mean they told me to wake them up at 9. Kenneth stayed up all night working on one of my gifts. You gotta love that boy. He has been trying to make everyones Christmas amazing this year. I am going to make his amazing! I am really tired, I really didn't get much sleep last night... So after we open gifts I will take a shower and go take a nap before our next destination. Well that is about all for now!

Sorry I kept you waiting

I quit masters. I am not a quitter but I quit. But since masters a lot has happened! Kenneth and I went through a ton of drama together, but we are back together and going strong! I am excited to be spending Christmas with him this year! I truly think this is how life was suppose to be all along. Kenneth and I really never had a reason to break up in the first place. But everyone goes through stuff like that right. Anyway each day I get more tired and more tired. I get more sick and more sick. But I know I need to keep my head up if I am going to get through this!

Masters wasn't that hard. The only hard part was not being able to talk to guys. Most of my best friends are guys. Which brings me to my next subject. I need more gal friends! I just want some girls that I can talk to. I know one day when I get married my husband is not going to want me to have a bunch of guy friends....

Anyway I think I am going to go lay down. I am feeling ill.

Be Ok

So I think you will come to find that I name a lot of my titles with the name of a song. I don't know why that is. So 22 days until Masters starts. I can't believe my summer is coming to an end. It is time to make the best of things. Tonight I am having a bible study at my apartment! This should be interesting. Next week is going to be super busy for me... Specially Thursday :) Tonight is going to be nerve wrecking for me, because this is my first time speaking! So I am excited, but nervous.

Master Commission

So I can't believe I got in to Master's. I am definitely going to blog about it. Blog about my the new chapter in my life. If you don't know what master's commission is I could explain it to you. Plain and simple its a discipleship program. Or you could just look at this website :) http://isnsports.net/invisioninteractive/mcatlanta/ There we go lol! Master's is going to be hard. Mainly because there are some interesting rules for First Years. Like no dating, or talking to the opposite sex. No listing to secular music. So I need to find some cool Christian bands and make a ton of cd's. So you all need to check out my friends blog! http://comeawayochildren.blogspot.com/ Amber is so amazing :) Check it out!

Times are Changing

So times are changing like my title says. They are changing fast. I wish I could slow time down, but don't we all? I am already 21, where did all the time go. I guess what I have been learning is you need to make the best of every minuet. Because you won't have the same minuet twice. I know that sounds a little odd, but it is true when you think about it. I am super tired and just wanted to write a quick entry because I hadn't done that in a while. I think i'm going to take a nap

Update

I haven't posted anything in a while! Well life is going really great right now. God has been working in me and my heart! The whole guy thing is being put on hold for now (even though I love him). I don't need a man in my life to make me happy. It's summer and its time to make some changes. I am looking for room mates. I am also trying to figure out the next step in my life. Ready for the end of this month! Cause I get to go on my first plane ride! So thats about all I have to say just some quick updates

God has been teaching me things

Oh yes he has! God has really been opening my eyes lately. I have been on this fast for about a week now. It is difficult trying not to focus all my attention on who I am fasting from. Last night at church though, I am pretty sure God answered my questions and my prayers. Master Mission Mate. In order to have the Mate (man) in my life I need to meet my master and learn my mission first. When Adam was made he met his master, God told him his mission. And while he was SLEEPING God made his mate. Maybe I just need to "sleep" for a while. Not worry about who I need to to be with. But what God wants me to do with my life. I don't need to be searching for my Mate. God will bring him to me in time. I just need to be patient. Who knows maybe I already know the guy I am suppose to be with. I am 20 (almost 21) I have plenty of time to worry about that in a couple of years. So I am going to do what God tells me. Even if I don't want to. Because his way is the right way!

Swallowed in the sea

I feel like I am being swallowed by the sea. I don't want to do this anymore. I just feel like I need space. I feel like I am holding onto something so tightly. I couldn't bare to see him with another girl, and I know he couldn't bare to see me with another guy... Why are things so hard...God give me strength to do your will, show me what that is.

Honk Honk

Don't stress over things you can't change....

I am trying not to....really

Got a new tattoo yesterday! It's pretty awesome....

Thats really all I have to say

Instead of opening my eyes its time to open my ears

I have opened my ears to what God has to say. He spoke to me in church and class! It is interesting how right some people are. I don't want to listen to people though, I want to listen to God and what he is telling me! AND BOY DOES HE HAVE SOME PLANS FOR ME THIS YEAR! I am so excited. I am really tired right now... after classes I have training at work...which will be boring.

Confusion

So I don't think I could be anymore confused than what I am now. I have this huge life changing decision to make. I know what I want, but I still don't know what God wants. And I hurt just thinking about letting him go. I know I need to focus on God, but I don't think I will be able to until I figure this out. Which sucks because the whole reason we decided to take a break was to get closer to God. I have been given really good advice lately. I think if we did break it off we would get back together. But at the same time you never know.

Next order of Business...I need an extra job. Or one that gives me more hours...I am not getting enough and it is killing me financially. Once again I don't have what I need for rent. Oh and I am excited about going to the Renaissance Fair! I have never been, but I heard it was really fun! :) And I am going with some really awesome people. Rebekah, Imran, and Paul so far!

Anyway thats about all for now....

Moving on

I am almost 21....I can't believe how fast life goes by. Hopefully I have another 70 years to go. It is time for me to make some serious decisions in my life. Like life changing decisions, and things that could affect my future... It is so hard to make a final choice. What if I make the wrong one? I guess I just have to trust in my heart that is the right one... :) I love him.

Yellow

I hate hurting people. Because when I hurt someone my heart hurts.

Last night was fun. Onyee you didn't come... :(

I keep trying to get my mind away from things, but they go right back to them. I keep thinking things are over, but then my heart swells up...and I don't want them to be... I don't understand why things are so complicated right now. I do however know that God has an amazing plan for my life and I just need to be patient. But my heart really does hurt... And tears swell in my eyes and I just want to cry. Because I want to hold on to this love forever. I feel like I need him... but is that false? I don't know. I am just getting so frustrated that I can't help but cry... I don't want to lose something thats really good. I don't want to make a mistake....I feel like I am..

I know I should be paying attention

I am in Psychology, I know I should be paying attention. We have a test on Tuesday. We are talking about different disorders. The one I am particularly interested in is PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder). I have gone through a few things in my life, I wonder if I had PTSD. I know I don't have it now, but when I was dealing with the Trauma I had a lot of the symptoms of PTSD. Do any of you have PTSD? If so why? Were you in the Army, or abused as a child? Have you been in a bad car crash? Lemme know what you think about this disorder!

Mexico-Reflection

So I haven't really had time to write a blog about my Spring Break trip last month. I went to Mexico. It was my first time out of the country. We drove from Georgia to Mexico. A very long exhausting drive. And we didn't stop to sleep either. We drove straight there! It was an exhausting drive. At first I didn't really have my heart open. That was a mistake. It wasn't until we actually got to our first day on the work site that I opened my heart because I saw how these people were living and it broke my heart.

Let me explain. For spring break in March I went to Mexico for about a week. We went to build a house for a family there. We built the house in 4 days. It was two rooms but had all the fixings. Electrical outlets, insulation, windows, two doors...it had everything!

The first day was the hardest. We layed the concrete down, hand made concrete. It was grueling, but we did it. I think the funniest thing about the trip is I only had one of my friends going. I didn't really think I was going to get along with anyone else that was going. We were an odd bunch. But in the end we all grew pretty close together. We made friendships with each other. And even though most of us couldn't speak spanish that well, we made some friends in Mexico as well!

I think I took a lot from this trip. I take things for granted. The people down there live such a simple life. The children don't have all these electronic things to keep them entertained. They play with rocks! And the adults use what they have as resources. I mean look at the house in the picture I posted. That house is made out of nothing...but scrap tin and scrap wood with a tarp as the roof.....God really opened my eyes! Mexico wasn't what I was expecting, so much poverty but the people are so happy. I never saw anyone frown! It was so amazing! It inspired me to change and be happy all the time. To be encouraging to others and to go back and build more houses......I can't wait to experience what God has in store for me!

School, Life, Things

I really wish this semester would hurry up and end. I am tired of all this work. I also need to start looking for a new housing arrangement, my lease is up in July! Living on your own is difficult. I wasn't ready to move out, but I was forced too. So I am working on a new song and I am excited because the people I have sung it for say it sounds good, but we shall see. Oh and can I ask who ever is reading this...if you are a girl...how do you feel about side pony tails? Are they too 80's Not that I really care...I am wearing one right now. I think they look cute....

Lets see things that are going on this weekend. Tomorrow I am hanging out with my friend Viet. Then practicing for the singing group I am trying out for. Thursday are try outs I am kind of excited kind of nervous. And I am hanging out with my friend Paul. THEN Friday I am having a party at my apartment! And Onyee... I know you read my blog...so you better be there!

Guys

I always get the short end of the stick when it comes to them. There was this recent guy that I really liked, and I know he really liked me too (cause he said he did). But I can tell he is scared to be hurt again. Well I am too. I am always getting hurt and I know I don't deserve it. I am tired of boys, I need a man! Dang I am such a girl! I don't know what to do about this guy, so I decided to write him a song ;) It will express to him how I feel. I am excited...it isn't often I write a song for someone. I am really afraid though that it will scare him off. A friend told me that lyrics are meant to be written and I shouldn't hold them back. So that what I am doing, I am writing them!

First Post

I don't know why I am doing this. My friend Onyee got me interested in making one of these. I go on several adventures. Right now I am playing God of War with some of my buds. Uh thats about all I can say right about now!