Honk Honk

Don't stress over things you can't change....

I am trying not to....really

Got a new tattoo yesterday! It's pretty awesome....

Thats really all I have to say

Instead of opening my eyes its time to open my ears

I have opened my ears to what God has to say. He spoke to me in church and class! It is interesting how right some people are. I don't want to listen to people though, I want to listen to God and what he is telling me! AND BOY DOES HE HAVE SOME PLANS FOR ME THIS YEAR! I am so excited. I am really tired right now... after classes I have training at work...which will be boring.

Confusion

So I don't think I could be anymore confused than what I am now. I have this huge life changing decision to make. I know what I want, but I still don't know what God wants. And I hurt just thinking about letting him go. I know I need to focus on God, but I don't think I will be able to until I figure this out. Which sucks because the whole reason we decided to take a break was to get closer to God. I have been given really good advice lately. I think if we did break it off we would get back together. But at the same time you never know.

Next order of Business...I need an extra job. Or one that gives me more hours...I am not getting enough and it is killing me financially. Once again I don't have what I need for rent. Oh and I am excited about going to the Renaissance Fair! I have never been, but I heard it was really fun! :) And I am going with some really awesome people. Rebekah, Imran, and Paul so far!

Anyway thats about all for now....

Moving on

I am almost 21....I can't believe how fast life goes by. Hopefully I have another 70 years to go. It is time for me to make some serious decisions in my life. Like life changing decisions, and things that could affect my future... It is so hard to make a final choice. What if I make the wrong one? I guess I just have to trust in my heart that is the right one... :) I love him.

Yellow

I hate hurting people. Because when I hurt someone my heart hurts.

Last night was fun. Onyee you didn't come... :(

I keep trying to get my mind away from things, but they go right back to them. I keep thinking things are over, but then my heart swells up...and I don't want them to be... I don't understand why things are so complicated right now. I do however know that God has an amazing plan for my life and I just need to be patient. But my heart really does hurt... And tears swell in my eyes and I just want to cry. Because I want to hold on to this love forever. I feel like I need him... but is that false? I don't know. I am just getting so frustrated that I can't help but cry... I don't want to lose something thats really good. I don't want to make a mistake....I feel like I am..

I know I should be paying attention

I am in Psychology, I know I should be paying attention. We have a test on Tuesday. We are talking about different disorders. The one I am particularly interested in is PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder). I have gone through a few things in my life, I wonder if I had PTSD. I know I don't have it now, but when I was dealing with the Trauma I had a lot of the symptoms of PTSD. Do any of you have PTSD? If so why? Were you in the Army, or abused as a child? Have you been in a bad car crash? Lemme know what you think about this disorder!

Mexico-Reflection

So I haven't really had time to write a blog about my Spring Break trip last month. I went to Mexico. It was my first time out of the country. We drove from Georgia to Mexico. A very long exhausting drive. And we didn't stop to sleep either. We drove straight there! It was an exhausting drive. At first I didn't really have my heart open. That was a mistake. It wasn't until we actually got to our first day on the work site that I opened my heart because I saw how these people were living and it broke my heart.

Let me explain. For spring break in March I went to Mexico for about a week. We went to build a house for a family there. We built the house in 4 days. It was two rooms but had all the fixings. Electrical outlets, insulation, windows, two doors...it had everything!

The first day was the hardest. We layed the concrete down, hand made concrete. It was grueling, but we did it. I think the funniest thing about the trip is I only had one of my friends going. I didn't really think I was going to get along with anyone else that was going. We were an odd bunch. But in the end we all grew pretty close together. We made friendships with each other. And even though most of us couldn't speak spanish that well, we made some friends in Mexico as well!

I think I took a lot from this trip. I take things for granted. The people down there live such a simple life. The children don't have all these electronic things to keep them entertained. They play with rocks! And the adults use what they have as resources. I mean look at the house in the picture I posted. That house is made out of nothing...but scrap tin and scrap wood with a tarp as the roof.....God really opened my eyes! Mexico wasn't what I was expecting, so much poverty but the people are so happy. I never saw anyone frown! It was so amazing! It inspired me to change and be happy all the time. To be encouraging to others and to go back and build more houses......I can't wait to experience what God has in store for me!

School, Life, Things

I really wish this semester would hurry up and end. I am tired of all this work. I also need to start looking for a new housing arrangement, my lease is up in July! Living on your own is difficult. I wasn't ready to move out, but I was forced too. So I am working on a new song and I am excited because the people I have sung it for say it sounds good, but we shall see. Oh and can I ask who ever is reading this...if you are a girl...how do you feel about side pony tails? Are they too 80's Not that I really care...I am wearing one right now. I think they look cute....

Lets see things that are going on this weekend. Tomorrow I am hanging out with my friend Viet. Then practicing for the singing group I am trying out for. Thursday are try outs I am kind of excited kind of nervous. And I am hanging out with my friend Paul. THEN Friday I am having a party at my apartment! And Onyee... I know you read my blog...so you better be there!

Guys

I always get the short end of the stick when it comes to them. There was this recent guy that I really liked, and I know he really liked me too (cause he said he did). But I can tell he is scared to be hurt again. Well I am too. I am always getting hurt and I know I don't deserve it. I am tired of boys, I need a man! Dang I am such a girl! I don't know what to do about this guy, so I decided to write him a song ;) It will express to him how I feel. I am excited...it isn't often I write a song for someone. I am really afraid though that it will scare him off. A friend told me that lyrics are meant to be written and I shouldn't hold them back. So that what I am doing, I am writing them!

First Post

I don't know why I am doing this. My friend Onyee got me interested in making one of these. I go on several adventures. Right now I am playing God of War with some of my buds. Uh thats about all I can say right about now!